The Toilet Paper Trials and the Best of the Brands

Hey there, Gal Pals (and Guy Pals too),

Let's talk about one of the most important things in our lives - toilet paper. Yes, I know... it's not the most popular topic up for discussion, but hey - it's one of those necessities of life.

During the early months of the 2020 Pandemic, there was a dystopian toilet paper apocalypse that occurred. The search for toilet paper in most stores left people high and dry. People were buying it in huge bulk quantities because why not, right? Sure, they could have stocked up on bottled water, medicines, underwear, food... but no. They bought mass supplies of toilet paper and hoarded it all for themselves. Greedy little grinches.

Replenishing of the toilet paper stocks were slow coming, and I found myself buying a different brand every time. Honestly, I was just happy to get my hands on some. Still, this forced me to try different major brands and experience the best - and the absolute worst - toilet papers. I've decided to share my TP research here with you, hoping it will help you steer clear of the crap when buying something to clean up the... well... you know.

Below are four Name Brand Toilet Papers that I tried during this period, ranked worst to best. The number one brand is currently the only one I'll buy. And no, I'm not paid for this study, although if the Number One wants to supply me with some free TP for my Number Two, I'll not complain.

Let's get to it!

• Scott Toilet Paper - This was the absolute worst of the brands I tried. Why? Mainly because it's like wiping your privates with slick wax paper. It doesn't clean up the mess; it just kinda spreads it around. Nasty, right? Yep. Because of this, I found myself using more toilet paper than should have been necessary, and several times while using this brand, my toilet drain clogged. This was all and all a 'crappy' experience for me.
• Angel Soft Toilet Paper - I managed to get my hands on a four pack of Angel Soft's lavender TP. While it smelled pretty, it was also an effort to keep it two-ply. The perforated cuts on Angel Soft were not aligned between the first ply and the second ply on any of the four rolls, and many times while unrolling it for use, I ended up with separated sheets and a not very neat wad of TP in my hand. Not to mention this toilet paper was probably the worst about not holding up during wiping. Yep, it's one the fingers went right through - probably because the two-ply became single-ply.
• Quilted Northern Toilet Paper - This one wasn't terrible. The plies held together fine and it was somewhat comfortable, but it didn't do well with my toilet's drain. The pack I got was three-ply instead of two. Sounds great, right? Wrong... especially if your bathroom has old pipes or low water pressure. Another issue with the three-ply build was that even though it was stronger, it really didn't seem any thicker than my number one favorite. There was also a slight 'shedding' problem that prevented me from feeling fully clean after use. 
• Cottonelle Toilet Paper - This was the absolute best of what I tried and the one I still use today. I found it strong, but not too strong to where it doesn't want to go through the drain. My fingers didn't break through when trying to wipe, and it was oh so soft. Also - no shedding! I felt very clean after every use, and I still do. Of the four toilet papers the Pandemic made me try, Cottonelle was the best and it is my recommendation to you for all of your booty wiping needs.

Curious to know what I used before the toilet paper aisle became a 'ghost town?' Charmin, but I doubt I'll return to it. Honestly, I have issues with their commercials. The bears are talking about how they are 'Charmin Clean' with no 'skid marks' on their underwear, but they are bears and they don't wear underwear. They're even naked - except for their fur - while talking about it. Crazy bears...

I hope this journey into the good and the bad of Toilet Paper has been a help to you! I'm just glad to get it off my mind. Thanks for listening and happy wiping!

Much Love, Jenn 💋